


this place should be a shelter

by turtle_abyss



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Abuse, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Politics, Protective Azula (Avatar), Protective Siblings, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Self-Defense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25194382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtle_abyss/pseuds/turtle_abyss
Summary: It's the first time she's been alone in the palace. The first time she's been alone with Father. (And Mother, but that's less important.)She thought she would like it.She does not.--A 'what if' on if Azula had aligned her loyalties with her brother instead of her father.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 83
Kudos: 1573





	this place should be a shelter

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick little 'what if' I wanted to explore because I've been having a lot of Azula feels lately and also wanted to dig a bit on the topic of Zuko's stealth ability. Because The Blue Spirit is one of my favorite episodes.  
> Thanks to Codee21 for looking it over for me!

Zuko is fourth in line for the throne, and Fire Lord Azulon sends him away to a swords master in order to learn skills he will need to fulfill his duty to the throne. Father is furious. Says it is an insult to his firstborn to study like a non-bender, even though just two weeks back Azula clearly remembers her father saying that Zuko would bring less dishonor upon their family if he WERE a non-bender.

Grandfather has a twisted sense of humor, she thinks.

It's the first time she's been alone in the palace. The first time she's been alone with Father. (And Mother, but that's less important.)

She thought she would like it.

She does not.

Father's rage is something he has only ever turned on Zuko. It's frightening, but Azula knows she is safe because she is Better.

With Zuko gone from the palace, Better is not good enough. Better doesn't spare her of Father's large hands.

Finally, months later, Grandfather has enough of Father's "whining". (Father's fits of rage are something Azula has never been allowed.  _ Controlcontrolcontrol _ .)

When Zuko comes back, angry at being taken away from something he was apparently actually good at, she expects things to go back to normal.

They don't.

Not really.

Zuko still strives for Father's approval. She is still better than Zuko at everything. Father's favorite target is still Zuko, Father still lays his big hands on Zuko, but half his biting words are now for Azula and she doesn't know why. It can't be because Zuko has improved. That's what Father wants, isn't it? And she is still Better. Which is what Father likes, isn't it?

She sees Zuko's eyes flash. Bitterness? Jealousy? Delight, perhaps, at her fallen grace?

She shudders to think that she will have to fight Zuko too. That not only have Father's rules changed, but  _ Zuko _ has changed as well.

It's not fair, she thinks wildly, her knees clutched tightly beneath her chin, once she is able to retreat to the safety of her own bed. Zuko was supposed to be  _ hers. _

It's not fair, she thinks as Zuko barges silently into her room through the window she knows wasn't open before. His temper is insanely contained like it never has been before, but Azula can see it. She wonders if Zuko managed to learn what Grandfather wanted. She wonders if he's here to eliminate her threat to his future thone.

_ "Did he touch you?" _ Zuko hisses into the air instead, wrathful golden eyes cleaving right through her as she trembles in fear instead of attacking as Father would want.

Her own eyes widen.

She never thought that maybe  _ she _ was  _ Zuko's. _

That he would choose  _ her _ over  _ Father. _

She looks away, and doesn’t answer.

Zuko's fire is stronger the next day.

Father is still not pleased.

She wonders if he is ever pleased.

\--

"Hey, Lala, wanna play a game?" Zuko asks a week later with a tentative smile, even though she knows it must hurt with the split lip and the bruise covering his right cheek.

Azula nods, and Zuko teaches her how to sneak around the palace unseen.

They find even more hidden corridors and secret passageways. There are spots on the roof that make them impossible to find.

This does not mean they are safe.

She shows some of them to Mai and Ty Lee, but keeps the best ones to herself. Those are just for her and Zuko.

One day, after Mother is gone and Father is Fire Lord, they hide in one of those spots, pale and afraid, and Azula allows her brother to hold her. It comforts him, she knows. Makes his heart beat a little less rabbiroo-quick.

"We can't be safe like this," Zuko whispers. Azula knows he does not mean showing affection or hiding away in secret places.

"We'll never be safe," Azula says, angry and resigned to her fate and wanting to cry for it.

"Not unless Father is gone," Zuko whispers, like a terrible revelation. Azula's heart pounds in her chest.

"That's -" Azula starts.

"Treason," Zuko finishes.

_ "It's treason," _ Azula hisses hysterically.

Zuko is quiet. Thinking.

She waits.

"Is it though?" he asks thoughtfully. "Or is it justice?"

_ "What?" _

"Father arranged for Grandfather's death. And he wasn't meant to be next in line for the throne. Grandfather said so himself. You heard it."

She did. Something that's not terror swells in her chest and blocks her throat. Well, maybe it's a little bit terror.

"That means Father is a usurper," Zuko continues as though he is not saying things that will have him killed brutally.

"So what if he is?" Azula asks, because one of them has to be the reasonable one and it's never been Zuko. "There's nothing we can do about it. You and I both know Uncle Iroh won't challenge him for the throne when he gets back. Not if he abandoned the Siege. And neither of us are strong enough to fight him."

Zuko swallows heavily. "Then we'll just have to survive until we can."

A frightening prospect indeed. And one she's more likely to succeed at than Zuko.

\--

They get harder and sharper and colder and it is a careful balancing act between them. They train together in secret until Zuko is almost as good as Azula. Zuko deliberately messes up during daylight training and Zuko takes most of their father’s ire with practiced stoicism. Azula patches him up at night and only stumbles in training when she knows Zuko can take no more. It is all Zuko will allow. He is content to be the unfavored one so long as it keeps his sister safe. He’s always been soft like that.

She thinks it’s silly and stupid, but she is grateful her big brother is hers.

They are both feral children bound up in the trappings of court. Dragons waiting to rip and tear and  _ burn. _ Tied up in silks and pretty ribbons to hide their claws and teeth. They are the only ones who understand each other.

Uncle comes close, though, when he comes back from Ba Sing Se a disgrace and a failure. Closer than Azula really likes. But then he wasn’t called the Dragon of the West for nothing. So if anyone were to understand…

Azula allows herself to be cajoled into a game of pai sho in order to more closely observe how their uncle treats her brother. One sound defeat (hers) later, she decides to extend some trust. Just a little bit. Just because Zuko’s shoulders relaxed a little while he drank the tea Iroh plied them with.

Coming back for a rematch is just a matter of testing her strategic skills. It’s not an excuse. Shut up, Zuko.

Uncle is kind, and neither of them really know what to do with kindness beyond craving it.

\--

Azula thinks to herself that it would be so easy to manipulate Zuko now. She could play double agent right up until she betrays him and wins Father's love. She imagines it, right up until her imagination hits memory of being alone with Father. Of how his viciousness turned on her at the first opportunity.

_ "Did he touch you?" Zuko had hissed. And then he had protected her. _

No, she decides every time the thought pops into her head, she will not betray her brother.

What comes after though? What happens when Zuko is Fire Lord?

It troubles her.

"You're going to be my second in command, of course," Zuko says as though Azula is stupid for not realizing the unspoken agreement Zuko thought they had already made. "You'll basically be Fire Lord without the title."

"There can't be two Fire Lords, dum-dum."

"Duh." Zuko rolls his eyes. "That's why I said 'without the title,'  _ dum-dum." _

Azula tackles him.

They wrestle, but they're laughing like real children for once.

"But really," Azula pants, smiling, once she has tickled him breathless and Zuko has surrendered to her superiority.

Zuko takes a minute to shudder through his remaining stifled giggles before he turns back to her with serious eyes.

"You'll be Crown Princess. We'll keep doing what we're doing right now, collating information and stuff. But whatever you say will be as if from me. I trust your judgment, Azula."

She blinks.

"Oh. Well."

"Aw. Pygmy puma got your tongue?"

She punches him.

\--

Zuko and Azula keep two lists of members of their father's court: one for those who will be allowed to stay, and one for those who will meet a quiet end somewhere.

_ "General Bujing goes," Zuko says one night with barely restrained fury. He's only thirteen, but in this Azula can see what her brother is truly meant to become. His flames flare white-hot very very briefly and Azula stifles her jealousy hard because she knows Zuko can't maintain it. _

In another life, where Zuko is a loyal son who does not think treasonous thoughts, his flames are always red and Azula watches him burn with a fixed smile.

But in this life, he does not ask to attend war meetings. He spies on them instead. The pillars in the war room, the shadowed ceiling, the intricate decorations - they make for easy handholds and easy places to hide unseen.

_ "Administrator Xi is stealing from the winter food stores in his area in order to throw grand feasts. He's otherwise decently competent, I suppose. We'll just have to reign in his gluttony if we can't find a suitable replacement for him," Azula determines one night after a rather unpleasant social event that Mai and Ty Lee couldn’t save her from. Zuko makes a pointed comment about it to the administrator the next time the man is in the Caldera. Just to make him sweat. _

Azula is better at making people afraid, which makes Zuko an excellent first wave. He can be intimidating when he wants to, but always gives off the impression that he's willing to give second chances. That his forgiveness can be earned.

Father hates Zuko's more merciful nature, but Azula finds it a useful tool in their plans.

_ "Commander Zhao is a man who craves violence. To commit it, to watch it, to revel in it," Zuko says once on a moonless night. His eyes are too wide and Azula marks Zhao for a particularly painful end. _

They don't write it down. They don't need to. Azula has a memory like a steel trap and Zuko holds grudges.

_ "Uncle can stay," Azula declares with no further explanation, and pretends not to see the way Zuko slumps with relief. They had both decided that she would be the one to evaluate Uncle. She knew it would hurt her brother too much to look on that kind of kindness with suspicion. _

The palace isn't a safe place to keep treasonous lists.

They do have a preferred spot though, where they hide things. Things that would get them into trouble, but not get them dead. (Hopefully.) They drape the stone walls with curtains and cover the floor with pillows and blankets. It muffles their whispers and blocks any light they hold in their palms from reaching any searching ears and eyes.

Their mother's jewelry twinkles prettily in the light of their tiny flames.

\--

The Avatar returns and Uncle Iroh is sent to dispatch the misbegotten creature. Father says he is not allowed to return until the Avatar is either dead or in chains. It’s not a banishment, except it is, and Father grins victoriously as he says it.

(Father almost sends Zuko with him, but Azula pulls on an old memory and makes a comment about how she thought she saw Zuko's flames flicker white at practice the other day, and Father is too interested in that to continue his previous line of thought.)

Azula and Zuko say goodbye to their uncle with perfect glass smiles and then return to their father’s side.

Azula hides the embroidered ribbons Uncle bought for her to hide her scars, but keeps the one made with steel wire tied up in her hair. Zuko hides his dao blades, but keeps his knife in his boot. Just in case, they say with their eyes. Just in case.

\--

Would Father love them if they were perfect?

Maybe.

But he never told them what perfect was.

\--

They debate hotly on the topic of the war. Not because either of them disagree with the other, no. Just because they need to know all their options.

They debate all of the merits of the war itself. They dig into the catacombs for the knowledge Sozin sealed away to get a better perspective of the reasons for the war and also to better understand the other nations.

Zuko wants to ask their uncle about his thoughts, but they both know letters just aren't secure enough for what they want to know.

So they make it work with what they have.

They don't make a decision right away.

Zuko thinks ending the war is the right thing to do. That all of the other children deserve to feel as safe as they want to be themselves. That they should stop wasting Fire Nation citizens' lives trying to bring other nations under their control. That if the Fire Nation was truly great and perfect and civilized, the Fire Lord himself wouldn't be such a monster and the other nations would come to them willingly.

Azula insists that they themselves will not be safe if they end the war. Not only will the other nations likely seek reprisal, but their own people who profit off of the war will likely rebel.

Regardless, they agree, they will have to watch out for assassins either way.

They're still disappointed every time one fails to kill their father.

\--

Word comes about the devastating failure at the North Pole.

Zhao is lucky he’s dead. Azula had been planning something much worse than drowning for him. Still, the devastating loss of half of their naval assets that went north is infuriating. The loss of that many personnel sends Zuko into a snarling rage. Father catches a glimpse of it and seems to approve.

Then Father talks about sending Zuko to kill Uncle. He says that Uncle has disgraced the throne for the last time. There’s a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his lips as he says it.

Azula holds Zuko as he shakes, in their secret place.

"I can't do it," Zuko whines, forcing himself not to sob because they never know when their safe spots might become unsafe.

Azula knows.

"We have to do it now," Azula whispers, running her fingers through Zuko's phoenix tail as he stiffens in her arms.

"We're not ready," Zuko whispers back fearfully.

"Well maybe you aren't," Azula sniffs with practiced disdain, smiling just a little to let Zuko know she's teasing, and feels vindicated by his hitching laugh.

\--

They make their move a week later, when guards who are more favorable to the royal children than their Fire Lord are on duty. They've got three go bags in different parts of the palace in case things go wrong and they need to run, but Azula doesn't see things going wrong that way.

No, things go wrong when Father wraps flaming palms around her wrists to stifle her bending and flings her across the room. When he turns those hands on Zuko and presses one burning palm to his face.

Azula, kneeling on the floor doubled over her bloody arms, almost freezes at the screaming.

Almost.

Instead, she's jolted away from her own pain back into reality. Her disgust fuels her rage and she can see nothing but her father with his hands on her brother  _ again _ and it's the last straw. She picks one of Zuko's blades up off the floor and rams it through her father's back. She's unsteady and unskilled, not trained in swords at all, and isn't prepared for the way it glances off the bones of Ozai's ribs.

It's not a fatal blow.

But father shouts and startles and he releases Zuko, who gets a grip on the knife at his waist and plunges it into their father’s heart.

They both stare blankly at their father’s body for a moment that stretches into its own eternity and then stare blankly at each other.

Then Zuko passes out and Azula has to figure out how to get them both to the infirmary. She hides their weapons first, though. Erases the more incriminating evidence.

Then she calls for the guards. She says there were assassins. They know she's lying. 

They only express how glad they are that her and the prince survived.

Azula smiles.

\--

"Peace," Zuko croaks from his sick bed when he finally wakes again.

Azula doesn't startle. And she definitely doesn't cry with relief when she reaches out to squeeze his hand so he knows she's there and listening.

"No more burning," Zuko murmurs. He's half-delirious, she knows, but…

"Okay," she agrees quietly as her own burns throb. "Okay, brother."

\--

Aang looks at the boy seated upon the throne and the girl who stands to his right and wonders how Sokka and Katara don’t see two terrified children like he does. Iroh, to his left, just seems unbearably sad as he looks at them. 

The boy on the throne has a heavily bandaged face. The girl keeps her hands behind her back and stands closer to the throne than Aang thinks she’s probably supposed to. Their clothes are unusually heavy and covering too much skin for the blazing summer here in the Fire Nation. 

"Uncle," the princess greets neutrally with a nod of her head, "welcome back."

"It is good to be back, my dear niece," Iroh replies with a sorrowful sort of joviality.

"And with the Avatar in tow even," the princess says with a twitch of her lips like a joke. Aang sees an identical twitch on the Fire Lord’s face.

Iroh laughs, deeply.

Sokka's hand tightens on his boomerang. Katara’s thumb fidgets with the cork in her water pouch.

"Well, I was worried that the conditions for my return still stood," Iroh seems to joke back. Aang doesn't really get it.

"They don't," the new Fire Lord rasps.

Aang winces at the sound.

"My dear nephew," Iroh says sadly, "What happened?"

"Perhaps we could have that discussion more privately?" the princess interjects with one delicately raised eyebrow.

"Ah, of course, of course. We can share a pot of tea later and catch up, if that's agreeable to you both?" 

They nod.

"Excellent! Then allow me to introduce my companions: the young Avatar Aang of the Southern Air Temple, the young warrior Sokka - son of the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, young Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, and young Master Toph of the Earth Kingdom." He sweeps a hand across them and they each bow in turn. Reluctantly, in the case of the Water Tribe siblings.

"Everyone, my nephew - Fire Lord Zuko, and my niece - Crown Princess Azula." The Fire Nation siblings nod in acknowledgement.

"We have much to discuss," Iroh finishes cheerfully.

\--

Later, he sees them training together in the courtyard and settles in a quiet spot to watch them.

It’s midnight and he can’t sleep and he just wanted to wander. To think in peace. Because he has a lot to think about right now.

The siblings say they want peace, and Iroh seems to trust them on that, but Sokka and Katara don’t. They had wanted Iroh on the throne. They knew he was good and kind. The Fire Nation siblings were Ozai’s children. Raised right under his thumb. Raised to be cruel and vicious warmongers.

The Crown Princess had been largely dismissive of his friends when they spoke of ending the war, like she thought they were stupid or naive despite all they’d seen and suffered. The Fire Lord hadn’t said much at all, but Aang had understood that. What with the bandages and all.

Their meeting had been brief, too. The princess had said they would discuss more later. Sokka and Katara had been furious. Had insisted that they needed to end the war  _ now, _ because every minute lost was another life lost. Aang had agreed. Toph had intervened there. Reminded them that even if the Fire Nation stopped fighting, the Earth Kingdom would only keep on without an official agreement between the two.

Then he’d felt a rock slide subtly under his foot in the direction of the Fire Lord and caught the way the princess was holding him up discreetly. Right. Injured. She probably just wanted her brother to rest.

He wonders if they had that tea with Iroh.

He wonders if the Fire Lord managed to rest at all.

He wonders why they’re training like this in the middle of the night. He thought firebenders were strongest in daylight.

Iroh had said he would teach him. But then the news came about Ozai’s death and Aang hadn’t had the chance to even start.

It’s enlightening to watch these two though. The princess is all precision and clearly her brother was too, before his injury. Now he stumbles on motions. It’s like a physical slurring, almost. He’s putting too much weight on his right foot and it’s like he’s not fully aware of his left arm anymore.

The princess is patient with her stumbling brother. There’s a hidden warmth to her here that’s in direct contrast to her frigid response to them in the throne room. 

Aang sees the red handprints around her wrists as she reaches out to correct her brother. Sees old dotted scars all along the Fire Lord’s arms.

It almost frightens him to contemplate what’s under that bandage on the Fire Lord’s face.

_ “What happened?” _ he hears Iroh’s voice echo in his ears.

He has a bad feeling about it.

But, somehow, he doesn’t have a bad feeling about them.

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a comment to let me know what you liked! <3  
> Or feel free to hit me up on Tumblr at turtlewritesthings or turtleoftheabyss! I get bored.


End file.
